March 2012
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Dear Girls who live next to me:
It’s 10PM on a Tuesday. I need to do homework. I don’t understand how the high-pitch squealing noises you make constitute as communication, but so far, what I’ve been able to translate is “I’m a dumb bitch who’s just asking to be duct taped to a wall.”
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Every night:
Me: Oye, I'm so tired I need to go to bed *snuggles into bed*
Body: I'm not comfy
Bed: Here let me add a spring in your side
Body: MAKE ME COMFY
Stomach: I'm hungry
Brain: Hey since you're up, lets contemplate the meaning of life
Me: *about 30 min later, finally comfy*
Brain: Hey remember that time in third grade when you...
Leg: Screw this , I'm going to sleep without you
Ear: WTF was that?!
Brain: It could be a robber, maybe a fire, maybe your mom fell, something broke, probably an emergency, but hey remember when..
Me: *an hour later, comfy again*
Bladder: Not so fast missy.
